I won't get into the whole modesty debate and whether I think it's right for you. I don't think bad about you if you wear a bikini, but I have recently felt convicted to start wearing a more modest bathing suit. It has nothing to do with having something to hide. Granted I don't look like I did when I was 20, but I don't look bad either. I just feel that I don't need to put my body on display for everyone to see every inch of it.
So this past week I went swimsuit shopping for a more modest swimsuit. And it actually made me feel horrible about my body.
Every swimsuit I tried on made me feel like I was trying to cover up or hide something. My generation wear bikinis until they have kids, and then feel like they need to cover up their stomachs. So I felt like I was joining the "mom" crowd.
Then when I was out this weekend wearing my modest tankini, I felt old. All the other girls, except of course the ones who have had kids, were all wearing their cute, skimpy, bikinis. And there I was, all covered up.
That's absolutely ridiculous! Society has fed me so many lies that I feel like I'm only beautiful or attractive if I "show off what God gave me." If I try to cover up, then it's only because I have something to hide.
I'm fed up with it. I'm fed up with society and the media. I'm fed up with the lies that we are told about our bodies.
I have pretty good self-esteem. I'm realistic about my body. I know I have a few extra pounds that I could probably lose, but I'm by no means fat. I think I'm pretty, and attractive.
For me to take a hit to my self-esteem because I want to show less of my body is stupid. There is something wrong with the messages that the media is sending us. What ever happened to leaving something to the imagination?
I'm done with letting the media or society tell me what is attractive. I am attractive. And I don't have to strut around in a string bikini to know that. And there is something wrong if we think we do.